Maximum Pain

Worst day ever. Just lost all that I had made in last month plus I gave up another 4'000.
So -4000 USD on the accounts initial paid in amount.

I guess I had it coming to me for several reasons:

1. Unable to take a loss via a system (i.e. 20pips) even though I have been preaching that myself
2. Got lucky 3 times with doubling, scaling in. But today the move was just too big to stomach. 200pips from initial sale I can not take mentally or size wise when there are no decent pullbacks. I was short 600k when I finally decided to cover!
3. Not listening to the chart: It was the most beautiful stable up trend I've seen in 4 weeks. And I was on the wrong side of it.

So I guess I'll be trading 50k lots from now on, because if I don't learn to control emotions won't be money left for long :S

An expensive lesson. One that I've been taught in other markets...

Edit: It's a good thing I went for a run to let steam off. I think I ran faster than in several weeks. Lot of anger at myself to decompress. Why? I had left for 20min when EURUSD was at 1.4010 and told myself I will have to reduce my size by 2-300k when I get back to desk. Then I come back and EURUSD is hovering around 1.4000 and I think: Hey looking better again. And from there onwards the rest was just pure hell. At 1.4038 I had another urge to cover but again thought, oh it will go back to 1.4000 surely. Covered the position at 1.4088. Day's high more or less. And now I wish I hadn't. Argh!